Beware of the Bull
I hear him before I see him.
His bellows echoing.
As I walk tentatively, closer along the path, he comes into my view.
A big brown hulk of an animal. A giant in this field of cows. One big bull making his presence known in a big way. Doing his work as he has been brought here to do. Sowing his seed compliantly. Noisily.
Disturbing me and MY peace.
And then I feel it.
Rising rising. From my toes to my stomach to my finger tips to my cheeks.
Raw hot fiery fear. Like a dangerous ball of fire.
The fence separating us suddenly seeming so feeble and weak. That surely he could clear it with one leap and come pounding after me.
Me, alone in the woods. Without my red cape and basket of goodies for granny.
Me and the big bad bull!
Who knows I'm here?
Could I outrun him?
I look around for a potential tree to climb.
I know he has seen me, with that menacing stare, but maybe I can retreat q u i e t l y.
That will be the end of it. Return the way I have come, to safety. No one will ever know.
This fear is helping me to think quickly.
This fear is helping me pay attention and feel, in my body. This fear is causing my finger tips to tremble, my heart to pound loudly. I'm holding my breath. Mind and body working together to alert me.
I know in this fear fuelled moment, that I choose to continue. To move forward on this path. Walking into natures' Autumnal embrace. Where her whispers are calling my soul forth. Calling me to continue to step out, in kinship with fear.
And so I breathe and step gingerly forward. Right foot. Breathe in. Left foot. Breathe out.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Marching to my own rhythm.
Bull on one side of the fence stands firmly staring at me. Cows gather together in their herd walking with me along their side of the fence. I follow the path around, focusing on my breath in rhythm to my steps, until I feel at a safe enough distance to look back to see bull going about his business, probably oblivious to the fear that his presence at that moment evoked within me.
I smile, relieved...and shakily take this photo (above).
I realise as I continue to walk, that nature is teaching me.
Teaching me to feel, acknowledge and respect fear as it shows up for me. That fear is 'just' another emotion on the wheel, helping to keep me safe (or in my place?); helping me to know deep in my heart and soul that I'm committed to walking this path as it shows itself to me, step by step, breath by breath. Walking with fear as yet another guide.
I'm so glad I did continue that day, for nature gifted me so much including this giant mushroom sprouting and welcoming me with open arms in all its glory.
Natures' Chalice, she whispered.
The masculine bull and the feminine mushroom chalice. Such power and beauty in natures' dance. Mirroring my dance of yin and yang.
Do you feel this fear?
Is it stopping you in your tracks?
Are you settling for staying still and being mediocre? When deep down you hear whispers of possibility. You dream of alternative careers and ways forward that light you up.
Please email me for a 30 minute complimentary consultation, for Soul Based Coaching will support you in such an easeful and powerful way, opening you up to so much practical possibilities in your career and life.