Day 7 ~ Not Missing My Second Chance
Updated: Aug 22, 2018
It's Day 7 of the Be Yourself Writing Challenge. Today's writing prompt is to write about a time you missed something - good or bad.
Slowly, very slowly, the stiller I become the more memories bubble to the surface. I sit. Not wanting to miss any single memory. Beautiful in their essence. Delicate. Shy. Vulnerable.
I remember I sat over there to eat breakfast and enjoy the morning sunlight; and laughter, lots of laughter and there, yes the twinkle of mischief in her eyes; ah and the smell, that fresh; cooling smell off the marble tiles. I used to stand in the walk in fridge to cool down, it was so hot in the kitchen! The kitchen where I prepared the food, and the sun, yes I remember that sun with its smiling face and brown curving rays, laid out on the floor as a beautiful welcome.
It’s unexpected; beautiful; humbling; sad; evocative; joyful; happy all at once.
An aromatic infusion of emotions.
I’m a teenager again. Yet with over two decades of life to add to that.
So familiar and so different.
Yet still the same.
I pass the kitchen. From the corner of my eyes I see them. A split second. I could have missed them, but there they are. I stop in my tracks. I hold my breath.
Her blond hair and calm smile. Her brown hair and rosy cheeks. Their laughter and fun. I exhale, knowing it’s not. It couldn't be. I was gifted life. A second chance. Rarely looking back yet always remembering. Not quite knowing if I would ever return here, yet hoping I would one day.
They gave me a big cuddly pink pig in hospital at the time; ‘Weil du gluck gehabt’ – because you were lucky. I was lucky.
The spacious maize filled fields. The cows. The sunflowers. The heat. The vibrant flowers on the balcony ledges. The farm smells and sounds. The deep chime of the clock bell on the church tower, regular as ever.
More houses than I remember. A busier road. An extension to the restaurant. People moving on. People passing on. Much change. Such formative years. So much to process. So much to remember.
“Memory has its own inner selectivity and depth.” - John O’Donohue
I remember them all, yet have forgotten so much. In my rush to continue with living, grasping my luck in one hand and an urgent life to live in the other, yet, it’s so good to be back. To remember. To allow the memories to bubble unexpectedly.
I’m glad I came. I’m glad I could share this moment so that he too can remember even though that’s part of an old life. My old life.
Heidi is so happy with her impromptu visitor. I can see that in her eyes. The lunch is on her. She gives us the grand tour.
John O’Donohue, said;
“To visit the temple of memory is not merely to journey back to the past; it is rather to awaken and integrate everything that happens to you.
It is part of the process of reflection which gives depth to experience.
Your soul is the place where your memory lives. Your soul is in fact getting richer, deeper and stronger.”
That’s very comforting. Everything, every moment, has a value and a place on our lives. These memories create such richness, depth and colour to my life. Nothing is in vain.
I gather myself and my memories together. Generating new ones.
Off we cycle. Along that road that I and my friends had travelled long ago. I wonder will I recognise the tree. The tree which halted us; stopping the momentum; so suddenly. So tragically. I remember the headlights beaming like a funnel onto that tree, as time slowed right down. I remember feeling my time was up. That this was it.
That tree that was the final destination for my two friends. With a sad twist of fate. Luck in which seat we chose to sit in. I walked free.
I had no idea how this visit would be. I understand now how important this was in completing a loop from past to present, welcoming it all, integrating. Enriching my soul.
I will not miss this second chance at life.
Will you join me in living your best life?
Contact me to for Training and Coaching when you are ready.
#21DaysOfReflections Day 7