I'm a Performer.
It started from the moment I was born. From the moment I took my first breath in this world.
As the third of 4 siblings, of course I used my unique ways and means of performing to survive and thrive throughout my life.
From the tender age of 1, when I first started to step out into my wee world, I would raise my arms in the air as I walked, in response to my mother's encouragement of "Gooood Girl"!! I imagine the smiles of pure joy on all of our faces, as any toddler learning and practising their first steps naturally brings. In order to walk, I had to raise my arms in the air.
Stepping out and performing in this way became synonymous, embedding themselves into my somatic memory.
And so the persistent performer in me sought satiation throughout the journey of my life and work. Through drama, music, intellectual studies, job roles, travel and humour, to name but a few.
It wasn't until I started studying Neuro Linguistic Programing (NLP) in 2015 that I began to realise that my learnt patterns of performing might not be serving me for my highest good anymore. My patterns of provocative humour; of being the expert Trainer at all times; of needing to get the crowd energised; of hiding my emotions behind my mask....One by one, I could begin to release these unresourceful patterns (and keep the resourceful ones!). One by one...my new journey began.
I no longer needed to pretend to be that part of myself that I had outgrown, like a redundant character in a TV Drama.
I no longer needed to let my loud Ego lead me along paths that weren't uniquely mine.
I no longer needed to pretend to be anyone, other than who I was becoming.
And so my journey IN to my truth; IN to who I really am, began.
This journey continues to deepen as I continue committing to being the disciple to my own soul truth.
Writing this now brings even more clarity to my journey.
Here are 4 practical ways that are helping me and may help you too, to remove the multitude of performance masks of our human conditioning.
I invite you to join me on this journey of re-membering who we truly are:
~ Schedule self-care spaciousness into your diary
~ Spend time in Nature. "Plus Nature" as Lindsay Pera teaches in The Modern Mystics Institute
~ Practise grounding meditations or visualisations. Imagine your feet are rooted to the earth. Feel the energy flow out and in
~ Journal - write down your thoughts. Let them out and set them free onto the page!
The more I allow myself to slow down to become even more present to what is real and true for me in any moment, the easier it is for me to make choices based on my inner wisdom, quietening the ego and any external influences for which I think I need to perform.
I'm letting my inner compass lead and oh what a difference this is making to my energy and life.
Cast your cape of performance to one side, even just for a moment, as you allow the radiant truth of who you really are be felt, heard and expressed in all its brilliant glory.
Rumi shall have the final word:
"Tear off your mask, your face is glorious."
How does this resonate with you?
To you and your glorious journey,
Photo: I'm the wee one with my sister and mum!